Kaling me slowly

Today there are always new crazes and fads that seem to pop up throughout the year. Recently, it has been a stand of health crazes. Eat this or that and you will live longer and be healthier. In theory this sounds like a fine idea, but there is a point where you begin to care about your health a bit too much.

Let’s just take the food Kale, otherwise known as the devil’s favorite food or lettuce’s ugly unwanted cousin. What is the deal with this stuff? It’s getting thrown on everything and for what reason? If anything, kale detracts from absolutely everything it’s added to.

I would much rather walk out to my backyard, pour salt on my grass, and chew it like a freaking cow. Ok, that’s a bit weird, but for real I would much rather die a year earlier and clog my heart arteries than digest that pathetic attempt at food.

At any rate, what is the thing with kale.? Just recently Chick-fil-a stopped selling their Coleslaw and in its place is the new Superfood salad. What is in this superfood salad you may ask? None other than kale and broccolini. What the heck is broccolini? Chickfila is a fast food restaurant with greasy chicken and fries, in no world does kale and broccolini fit in with those things.

I think it is time that we all look in the mirror and realize that a life with kale is a life with misery. So please think again before you add any more of these leaves to my food. Please leaf me alone, kale!

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