Dear Mr. President

On Tuesday, Jan. 5, President Barack Obama addressed the nation with his plans for gun reform.

 

Dear Mr. President,

First off, I would just like to thank you for being such a courageous and determined leader. After watching your National address in which you informed the country about your plans for gun reform I couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy. I now know that I am a lot safer from gun violence and am so happy that your executive orders will make it harder for law abiding citizens to live out their second amendment rights! I am ecstatic to know that your actions will prevent criminals and the mentally ill from acquiring guns. I am laughing on the inside as I picture the first criminal who tries to purchase a gun after your executive order has been established. I imagine that once they are told that they are not allowed to have a gun they will respond with a knee slap and let out a possible, “aw shucks”. Good thing there is no way that person could find a way to get their hands on one of the 300 million guns currently in America. I am confident that a black market where criminals can get guns illegally would never form due to your executive order. I think this is the thing that I like so much about you Mr. President, your number one priority is not upholding the constitution, but keeping guns away from law abiding citizens. Your priority to protect the American public is inspiring.

That’s why you supported letting Syrian refugees into America that the government couldn’t properly vet right?

That’s why you have done nothing to eliminate the immunity that sanctuary cities provide to dangerous illegal immigrants correct?

Mr. President  isn’t the reason you haven’t made any steps to investigate or defund Planned Parenthood because you value American life? Even the unborn life?

Oh yeah and when you released that prisoner from Guantanamo Bay, you know the one who was Osama Bin Laden’s bodyguard, you had the American public’s safety on your mind didn’t you?

Perhaps the most riveting part of your address Mr. President was not your ideas for gun reform, but when you cried while talking about the victims of gun violence. It gave me chills watching my President cry. I’d like to see one of those Republicans show that kind of emotion to the American people, but I know that wouldn’t be possible since, you know Republicans are all heartless! Perhaps the reason for your tears was because you realized how tyrannical is was to walk all over the American people’s 2nd amendment rights. Don’t worry though Mr. President you weren’t the only one who cried. The founding fathers shed a tear or two in their grave as they listened to your address as well. All I could think while I watched your tears glisten in the light was, “Wow, this man must really care about the American people.” I couldn’t help but think about all the other times you have shown such emotion when the people of our country have faced tragedy.

Hey Mr. President, do you remember when American’s watched in horror as ISIS took a video of American journalist James Foley being beheaded? You did such a great job of soothing the country and showed the same emotion that you did last Tuesday. I’m pretty sure you cried during your address to the nation didn’t you? Oh wait no my bad you didn’t cry. That’s okay though because you had a game of golf to get to!

Sorry that was a bad example. I’ll try to think of a better one. Hmm. Mr. President remember when 32 year old Kate Steinle was gunned down by an illegal immigrant who was reaping the benefits of a sanctuary city? It was such a tragic event but you eloquently and bravely addressed the nation. I know you made me feel better about the tragedy. Oh wait sorry I got confused again. Now that I think about it you didn’t even address the nation about Kate Steinle’s brutal murder. Oh well I guess that’s okay Mr. President you probably had something more pressing to attend like perfecting your golf swing!

Okay Mr. President don’t worry, I just remembered a great example of your passion. Remember when ISIL militants wreaked havoc on the city of Paris and left 129 people dead and even more injured? You did such a fantastic job of pacifying Americans and the rest of the world. My favorite part was when you called the attacks a ‘setback’. It made me so happy to know that one of the largest terrorist attacks in the history of Europe was only a setback in your eyes.  

Mr. President perhaps my favorite memory of your great compassion was when you addressed the nation after the U.S. embassy was attacked in Libya, leaving 4 Americans dead, including U.S. Ambassador J. Christopher Stephens. Alongside another one of my favorite people, Hillary Clinton, you pacified the American people. I remember you getting so choked up that Hillary had to offer you a box of tissues. Quite a moving moment. Oh wait a second, now that I think about it you didn’t shed a single tear that day. Well at least you and Hillary were honest to the American people as well as the families of the victims when you blamed the attack on a movie.

Well Mr. President now that I think about it you’re one slick guy. There’s a reason you will always be better than those heartless Republicans. You have not only found a way to reveal emotion on only topics that help to push your political agenda but also a way to wheel your tyrannical power and create more difficulties for law abiding citizens who wish to fulfill their constitutional rights. How convenient is that? Don’t worry I won’t tell those heartless Republicans your trick!

 

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan

 

P.S. Maybe if you showed the same emotion dealing with ISIS as you did with gun control then the threat of radical Islamic terror would diminish. Of course that would require you to utter the words radical Islamic terror so never mind!

 

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