DISCLAIMER: Given my audience in the middle of Highlands Ranch, a lot of you won’t agree with the majority of this post. However, you still have to feel for the stand alone liberal at the Tea Party dinner table.
Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday. Turkey dinners? Count this vegan in. Discussing politics? Let me just toss around how great the GOP is looking. And about the history of this day and its current significance? I love giving thanks for this beautiful country that’s so rightfully ours– so much so that we can’t let others in.
So I may sound a little sarcastic and extremely cynical, but it’s kind of a given that anyone who has to sit through the following conversations is less than ecstatic.
- “I can’t wait to vote for Ben Carson.”
I can’t wait to live without healthcare either. That, and he can restrict my education to ensure it isn’t too liberal for his taste. Can we talk about that for a while? It’s a pretty exciting topic considering I’m going to CU next year.
- “Still no boyfriend?”
Though it’s only been a few months, I feel like this question seems to creep in at any silent moment of my life. I should be thankful, though. If it wasn’t for the reminders, I might accidentally forget that a boyfriend is currently the most important aspect of my life.
- “Teenagers these days are so irresponsible.”
“Teenagers these days” learned from the best, didn’t they?
- “The media is awful. Fox News is the only news that will tell you the truth.”
Well, first off, thanks. Second off, Fox News is a complete disgrace to journalism. Need I say more, or can I be excused?
- “You read that Saul Alinsky book? Oh, dear. You should try Ann Coulter’s instead.”
I tried, and I failed– last Thanksgiving.
- “Take this pamphlet. This is what the media isn’t telling you.”
I hate to break the news, but “the media” is technically responsible for crafting this very disgusting piece of propaganda. Every holiday, I get some kind of Islamophobic handout about how the religion of hate is overtaking the world. I’ve yet to get used to it– despite the overwhelming number of them I’ve received– and it still enrages me each and every time.
- “The only woman who knows what she’s talking about is that Fiorina girl.”
The one who was fired from Hewlett Packard for doing such a great job? Right. Oh, wait, you’re saying she actually did great things? That’s interesting, maybe we should ask around and see if that’s right.
- “What are you looking to do in the future?”
I still haven’t decided what class I want to pick up for my empty period next semester. I don’t know how you expect me to know the precise answer to that question, but I’m pretty sure it was only asked to stress me out anyways.
- “Why do those people have to act like that?”
I can’t always tell if there’s some open bigots at the table, or if it’s just an accidental slip… but considering it’s the same slip every holiday season, I’m going to guess the first.
- “Eat some turkey.”
How many vegan holidays do I have to sit through? Too many. Not to generalize, but the whole “no eggs, no dairy, no meat” thing doesn’t really hold up with many people over 30.